Right now, the SXSW music festival is in full flow in Austin Texas. What's more, I believe Creativepool's glorious leader Mike Tomes is there, doing his funky thing. Anyway, following the event on Twitter, I noticed someone reporting a bearded fellow attending a show sporting a Google Glass rig. This is notable for a couple of reasons:
1) Texas obviously suffers from the same sort of terrible hipster infiltration as parts of our major cities
2) This is the only sighting of Google Glass in action, outside some overblown tech conference, that I can recall. Indeed, I have yet to see a 'real' person, in a 'real' situation sporting the old digital face furniture.
All that exposure, all those reviews, all that over-excited flannel and, as far as I can tell, just one twonk in Texas is using Google Glass. And he probably works at Google. Not exactly catching on like free Furbies is it?
I'm not surprised. Not even slightly. Whatever one can see through these goggles (and the temptation to call them 'Google Goggles' must have been enormous), however enhanced and spectacular the world becomes through these sci-fi lenses, there's a massive flaw in the product: you have to wear it.
'The temptation to call them Google Goggles must have been enormous'
Of course, there are many products designed to be worn - and we happily part with our hard-earned pennies in order to acquire them. Look at jeans. Not much use unless you wear them and they certainly keep your backside warm and private when you do. But there's a marked difference between Google Glass and a pair of old Wranglers. Jeans are for wearing and nothing else. Their primary function is to hang from your hips and down your legs, and nothing else. Google Glass on the other hand, performs all manner of internet based activities. Emailing, texting, watching dogs in military hats singing Metallica songs - actually, I'm probably exaggerating here, it seems Google Glass is more designed for satnav directions, videoing and stuff.
Now, call me old-fashioned, but my iPhone can do all that - and here's the good bit, I don't have to dangle it from my nose. All my mobile telephones, from the concrete engine I had in 1997 to the Apple pleasure-box I own today, have lived in my pocket. For some odd reason, I have never wished they were part of my face. Thinking about it, my pocket has always seemed tailor-made for the purpose of carrying my phone. In short, there is no reason to wear technology other than to show off.
Besides, we've tried this before. I'm sure you'll remember Bluetooth headsets. Like a computer mouse hanging off the ear with a ludicrous blinking light to attract the attention of ... well, I'm not sure who, to be honest. Anyway, these were only a hit with a very select market. Idiots. And maybe taxi drivers. But definitely idiots. The wearer assumed the mantle of 'cool kid' while the rest of us just looked at them, rolled our eyes and made a certain hand gesture. Google Glass will be no different. Actually, the reaction may be much worse, because when some dipstick approaches you with his futuristic spectacles blazing, there's a fair chance he's filming you. I'm not a violent man, but I can't speak for many other folk. It's not beyond the realms of possibility that users will end up wearing their Google Glass in a place they never expected.
Whether Google Glass has an application in sports or the military (where it would make more sense) remains to be seen. In the consumer market, I predict it will remain the preserve of that tiny cross section of the dunderheaded buffoon community who don't understand pockets.
Magnus Shaw is a copywriter, blogger and consultant
